AI vs. EQ: Is Artificial Intelligence Making Us Less Human?
- Hillary Huyghue-Matias
- Nov 30
- 7 min read
And Why That Should Scare Us More Than Being a Passenger in a Self-Driving Car
The other day I rolled up to a fast-food drive-thru, and an AI, not a human, took my entire order. I asked for a Sprite and it actually replied, “Sorry, we don’t have that. Would a Starry be okay?” It offered substitutions. Then it read my order back perfectly, didn’t sigh through a crackly headset, didn’t judge the extra fries, and didn’t even pretend the ice cream machine was broken.
If it had given me a virtual fist-bump at the window, I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised. (Give it a year. It’ll come standard with the deluxe combo.)
That’s when it really hit me: AI wasn’t just replacing tasks, it was replacing human interaction. AI isn’t coming. AI is already here, taking orders, writing emails, scheduling our lives, and slowly convincing us it knows better than we do.
If you’re over 40, you might feel overwhelmed and even intimidated by the AI era. But let’s be honest, those of us in our 40s were the original AI guinea pigs, whether we realized it or not. We grew up on shows like Small Wonder (remember Vicki, the cardboard robot-child?) and movies like Bicentennial Man, which gave us just enough of a preview of an AI controlled future to make us suspicious of anything robot-like.
Laugh through the wild ride of midlife with my book, I Turned 40 and Everything Stopped Working—Even Me!
Sure, Gen Z likes to think they discovered AI. Meanwhile, our generation was out here learning to write in cursive, read real maps, and tell time on clocks that didn’t light up or talk back. We may not be the most “AI-savvy,” but trust me: we know the human touch, and that gives us a serious advantage… assuming we don’t lose it. So, without a doubt, emotional intelligence (EQ) for professionals over 40 matters more in the age of artificial intelligence than ever before.
Because lately, I’ve noticed something unsettling happening in life and especially in the workplace:
AI is making people forget how to be human.
And I mean really forget. As in “emotionally tone-deaf, robotic responses, zero awareness of how they sound” forget.
And since no workplace is immune to this shift, let’s talk about it.
AI Is Helpful in the Workplace—Until You Start Using It Like a Personality Replacement
Look, I’m a fan of AI and I use it regularly. As a writer and content creator, it helps me brainstorm, edit content, create travel itineraries, and at times, even reminds me what day it is. AI is great at simplifying tasks, generating ideas, and helping me avoid sending emails that read like they were written under the influence of too much coffee and not enough sleep.
But somewhere between chatbots, automation, and our increasing obsession with productivity at all costs, people have started using AI as a substitute for emotional intelligence (EQ).
And when we talk about EQ, just so we’re on the same page, it’s the ability to understand, respond to, and manage emotions in ourselves and others, in other words, it keeps us human.
It keeps workplaces functional, relationships healthy, and group chats from turning into group meltdowns.
Yet now, instead of actually developing their EQ, a lot of people are starting to… well… act like AI.
Signs You May Be Letting AI Cloud Your EQ at Work (Emotional Intelligence Check)
Every now and then, it’s worth doing a quick self-check to make sure you haven’t unknowingly turned into a human version of ChatGPT that plays pickleball on the weekends. It happens more easily than we think, especially since we rarely see ourselves the way others do. And trust me, it’s about a lot more than starting every sentence with, “How can I help you today?”
Be on the lookout for these AI red flags:
1. You expect instant responses…from humans.
AI replies in 0.2 seconds, so now when a coworker takes more than a minute to answer a message, you’re ready to issue an Amber alert and start pinning up missing-person posters around the office to see if anyone’s seen them.
Newsflash: Humans aren’t machines and don’t have micro-fiber processing chips!
They have lives. They eat. They go to the bathroom. And sometimes they just need a second to breathe.
2. You talk to coworkers the same way you talk to your chatbot.
If AI lets you type “this makes no sense,” “fix it,” or “you suck” with zero consequences, that does not mean you can say the same to Jill from accounting and expect her to show up smiling the next day with homemade chocolate-chip cookies to share at the next department meeting.
AI will tolerate anything because that’s literally what it’s built to do. And not only that. Even after being humiliated, it will cheerfully offer to summarize your insults, optimize them for SEO, and organize them in a downloadable pdf which can also be shared on social media.
Humans? Er…not so much.
3. You assume every idea you have should be applauded.
AI is like your personal pep squad.
“Great idea!”
“Absolutely!”
“You’re a genius!”
"Say less. I’ll do it!”
But real people? They have opinions. Sometimes different ones. Sometimes better ones. Sometimes ones you don’t want to hear.
And if you are giving off Mean Girls vibes, don’t expect your colleagues to feel special because you allow them to sit with you at the lunch table the next day.
AI is not your BFF, and your colleagues are not your algorithmically-programmed cheerleaders.
"Be Aggressive! B-E Aggressive!"
Nope! It’s definitely time to learn a new cheer.
4. Your communication has become… overly formal or oddly robotic.
If your emails suddenly sound like you swallowed a corporate policy manual:
“Per my previous message, kindly advise regarding the actionable next steps for synergy optimization—”
When really, all you meant to say was, “Please confirm your attendance.”
This is a sign that it might be time to unplug and check your emotional intelligence meter.
5. You’ve lost the ability to explain things in plain English.
AI gives you way more information than any human ever needs. Which is great… until you're talking to an actual person and suddenly you can’t explain a simple instruction without turning it into a dissertation or a TED Talk nobody asked for.
If your team looks at you like you're speaking in binary code, it may be time to recalibrate.
6. You expect humans to run on software updates.
People change and thrive through conversation, collaboration, and encouragement. Not by hitting “Refresh system settings.” If someone asks for clarification, time, or support, that's not them being inefficient. That’s called being HUMAN.
Every work decision or process implemented isn’t as simple as deciding whether you want mayo or mustard on your ham and cheese sandwich. Some take more time to process and THINK about.
Why AI vs. EQ Matters More Than You Think
To be honest, AI in itself isn’t the bad guy. AI isn’t destroying emotional intelligence.
We are.
We’re letting it become a buffer between us and real, human interaction. If people don’t become aware of the impact of what a lack of emotional intelligence does in the workplace, we’ll soon be reliving the dot.com era.
In the workplace especially, EQ is the difference between:
people feeling valued vs. people feeling dismissed
collaboration vs. chaos
healthy communication vs. “Why did this become a whole thing?”
leadership vs. micromanagement
teams that thrive vs. teams that go to an escape room for a team-building activity and never return.
When we rely too heavily on AI, we risk losing the awareness, empathy, and humility that make us effective coworkers, managers, and human beings. No amount of automation can replace that.
A Note to My Over-40 Crew in the AI Era (Because I Know You've Felt This)
Hey, midlifers, don’t let anyone make you feel outdated, irrelevant, or “less than” in this AI era! Remember, we grew up solving problems with:
rotary phones
printed directions
in-person conversations
beepers and used numbers as code words when flipping them upside down (01134 flipped upside down spells "hello")
the original ‘search engine’: Mom yelling from another room
We know how to navigate real life without a machine doing all the thinking for us. So yes, learn AI. Use it wisely. Stay current. Get on the AI bus, but don’t let it run you over.
Because your life experience, your EQ, and your intuition? That’s something a prompt or algorithm can’t teach you.
So What’s the Solution to Taking Back Our Emotional Intelligence? An AI Detox.
Yup, it might be time for you and AI to go "on a break."
Not forever. Not dramatically. And no, you don’t have to delete all your apps and go into the Witness Protection Program.
Just enough to remind yourself:
Humans aren’t machines
Conversations need warmth
Tone matters
Clarity matters
Respect matters
And not everyone is running on the same bandwidth
If meeting someone for the first time triggers your impulse to ‘press a button’ instead of offering a handshake, it’s time to step back, breathe, and give your brain cells a chance to reboot and start working on their own again.
Remember, AI is a tool, not a person. A support system, not a substitute for self-awareness. A convenience, not a moral compass.
Use it. Enjoy it. But don’t let it replace the most powerful technology you already possess: your humanity.
What about you? Do you think AI is changing the way people interact with each other, especially at work?
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What an insightful read Hillary! I completely agree with your perspective on this important topic. AI is simply a tool and it’s our ‘humanness’ that must remain as our compass in helping us navigate difficult conversations, helping others, etc (in and outside the workplace). Daily reflection, AI/tech detoxes and spending time with loved ones can help us remain anchored in what matters most in this life.
Such an insightful read and very relevant in today’s world. It’s so important to keep ourselves in check as technology continues to advance, especially when we find ourselves getting lost in the constant “staying up to date” rollercoaster. You articulated this so well! 👏
Excellent article! Without emotional intelligence a company will not last! I like AI and use it all the time, but if it’s not balanced and people aren’t put first then it can become our downfall. 🙌
Wow! So interesting and so true! AI is the future but we have to remember that people are behind everything we do. 👍👏
Great read and so relevant and true! Without empathy, awareness and emotional intelligence a workplace can not function properly and will eventually go under. I hope all companies take a close look at this article and analyze their leadership teams and priorities. Thank you Hillary for such a well written article! 👌