Patience Wears Thin: 3 Things People Lose Patience For in Their 40s
- Hillary Huyghue-Matias
- Jan 5
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 15
The other day, I ran to the supermarket to pick up a few items. I usually opt for self-checkout, but it seemed everyone else had the same idea, and the lines were packed. Thankfully, I found a cashier with just one person in line and headed over there with my four items in hand. I thought, "I'll be out in no time." While the customer in front of me was slowly putting their items on the scanning belt, in what felt like a slow-motion black and white film, they started a lively conversation with the cashier about their cat's diet and then proceeded to search their flip phone for pictures of cute and cuddly Mr. Pickles. With each passing minute, my patience was wearing thin.
That day, I realized something important about myself: In your 40s, patience is like an ice cube on a summer sidewalk—it starts solid, but the longer you leave it exposed to the heat of life's annoyances, the quicker it disappears into a puddle of 'I can't deal with this anymore.'
So, while losing patience is inevitable, learning how to manage it can make life more enjoyable. Here are three things that tend to test our patience in our 40s, along with tips to keep our cool.
Prolonged Waiting
First on the list is the endless waiting when trying to get something done. Patience may be a virtue, but in your 40s, it’s one you’ve begun to delegate. Long lines, relentless traffic, never ending hold music, and being transferred from one representative to another, can really test your patience to the limit. These days, I'm willing to splurge and pay more for a service if I'm guaranteed that it will be handled swiftly. It's not just that I'm constantly in a hurry; it's that my time is more precious than gold.
How to Stay Patient:
Prepare for distractions: Keep a good book, podcast, or game on hand to make waiting feel enjoyable. Have you listened to the Out of Body Xperience Podcast - Chronicles of a 40-Something-Year-Old, yet? #shamelesspodcastplug
Avoid the wait: Instead of calling customer service and waiting on hold for a representative, is this something you can resolve yourself, online? Lose patience when waiting in line? Have you tried online shopping and grocery pick-up and delivery? Don’t ya just love mobile apps?
Lower your expectations: Accept that some things will take a long time. Have a DMV appointment or a jury duty summons? Get mentally prepared ahead of time that it will be an all day feat and that will make the delay less frustrating. Get ready Candy Crush, I’m going all the way!
Dealing With Drama
Next is the dwindling tolerance for drama and unnecessary conflict. In your 40s, you realize life is too short for trivial matters. Perhaps a few years ago, you might have watched from the sidelines while the group chat went into meltdown over a full-scale debate about who said what at brunch. Now, in your 40s, it’s just draining. If someone wants to rehash an argument from five years ago? Your first thought is: “Sure, go right ahead! In the meantime, I'll be alphabetizing my sock drawer while trying to remember where I left my reading glasses." Life is too precious to be spent in toxic environments, and the choice to avoid drama becomes an act of self-care.
How to Stay Patient:
Pick your battles: Keep in mind that a conflict requires two participants, so if you opt out, the conflict ends. Sometimes silence is the most powerful response.
Set boundaries: Politely exit conversations that feel draining. Has the group chat gone rogue or are you following someone on social media that is drama-ridden? Remember, you can always just remove yourself from the chat or unfollow them. Adios drama!
Find humor in it: Enjoying a good laugh and reflecting on how trivial some situations can be will help you remain calm and maintain perspective. The next morning while you’re sipping on your morning coffee you laugh out loud, and think, “Dude! Did that really just happen?”
Time-Wasting Activities
Lastly, we can’t forget about those pesky time-wasting activities. In your 40s, you lose patience after being in a two-hour meeting that was intended to "Maximize Interdepartmental Synergy" but, in essence, morphed into a never-ending discussion about pets and personalities. By the end, your to-do list is glaring at you, untouched, and during the meeting you mentally composed an Oscar-worthy blockbuster film. While team-building activities can foster work relationships, especially in remote environments, when an activity seems to miss the point, it can feel like an eternity and test your patience threshold.
How to Stay Patient:
Set boundaries: Politely but firmly redirect conversations or leave activities that aren’t adding value. Would you rather stay home and read a book instead of hanging out with the girls and doing each other's nails? It's okay to say no if it's just not your thing.
Prioritize your time: Ask yourself, “Is this worth my energy?” before committing to anything. Is the work event mandatory? If it’s listed as optional, feel free to decline every now and then.
Stay relaxed: If attendance is necessary, take deep breaths or remind yourself that no situation is permanent. Once it's over, what can you do that you enjoy?
Lose Patience, Lose Yourself
Life in your 40s isn’t about having less patience—it’s about refining where you spend it. It’s like a budget: why squander it on unnecessary waiting, drama, or time-wasting activities when you can invest it in moments that truly matter? Instead, focus on what brings you joy, and remind yourself that staying calm is the ultimate power move. And if the situation is beyond your control? Find humor in the chaos! At the very least, you'll have something funny to think about and keep you entertained during the next team-building activity.
What about you? What have you lost patience for?
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I recommend it.
Very true! 😃