Unexpected Adulting: Things You Never Thought You'd Do or Say
- Hillary Huyghue-Matias
- Dec 2, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 15
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Recently, we were visiting friends, and I discreetly nudged my husband, whispering through gritted teeth, "It's time to leave. It's getting dark." At the time, I didn't think much of it, as driving after dark can be risky, particularly in areas where the moon is your only light source and deer the size of Clydesdales leisurely stroll down the street looking to play bumper cars with passing vehicles. But once I returned home, I realized that it wasn't even 7 p.m. (thanks to daylight saving time) and wondered, who is this cautious, early-curfew-enforcing person? It couldn't be me, the self-proclaimed night owl who, in my 20s, thought 8 p.m. was early and still had hours of energy. After some reflection, I had to admit that here I am in my 40s, and I find myself saying things I swore I never would and even doing things that I once mocked older generations for doing.
So, should I feel like I've betrayed myself and all of my values since I'm now saying and doing things I thought I never would? No. After all, everyone ends up doing something that they swore years ago they would never do, and, in fact, some of these things have become essential parts of our everyday life. Imagine this: we spent our entire childhoods being warned to never give out personal information, never talk to strangers or get into their cars, yet as adults, we literally summon strangers to our home through an app and pay them to drive us around...hello Uber!
Here’s a light-hearted look at some things we swore we’d never do in our younger years and how they have become our everyday realities in our fabulous 40s.
Going to Bed Before 10 p.m.
In your 20s, energy feels limitless, and staying out late is just part of your weekend routine. Fast forward to 40-something, and I’m practically tucking myself in while daylight peers in through my bedroom window. Now, if I go to the movie theater after 6 p.m., the seats will definitely need to recline 180 degrees and be equipped with seat warmers because, while hugging my bucket of popcorn, I will definitely be catching an early evening nap at some point during the film.
In your 40s, managing to stay awake past 10 PM is quite an achievement. It's so rare that it becomes the highlight of your Zoom meeting coffee chat. Sadly, you'll most likely feel the repercussions of that late-night the following day or even throughout the week. So, when your idea of a "wild evening" includes being in bed by 9 PM, once you've finished that exciting mystery novel with your favorite hot cup of steeped herbal tea, you know you’ve officially “grown up.”
Collecting Things
I remember when I was young, I would wonder what the thrill was in collecting trinkets or having a shelf display of a set of special occasion China and cutlery. Fast forward to your 40s, and that same shelf has transformed into your proud display of “collectibles.” You find yourself swooning over quirky mugs and boasting about your thrift shop finds, turning your shopping trips into treasure hunts.
You might tell yourself, “This handmade bowl will be perfect for my avocado toast,” while secretly knowing it will sit untouched like a trophy and later become the bane of your existence because it is a dust collector. And who can overlook your transformation from a "black" thumb to a green one? You once claimed you would never tend to “houseplants,” yet now you take selfies with your orchids and succulents, proudly sharing the results of your efforts like a seasoned gardener.
Kids These Days
When I was younger, my skin would crawl when older people began their sentences with "back in my day" or "when I was your age." I promised myself that when I grew up, I wouldn't use those phrases, aiming to stay cool and connected with the younger crowd. If only the younger me could read this post now...
Why is it that I now find myself using those same expressions when reminiscing about how we used to rent movies years ago, having to physically leave the house, get in the car, and drive to the store to rent them instead of just asking Alexa to stream it for us? Or the hours spent with your friends mastering choreographed dance moves from your favorite boy band to showcase at the next party instead of watching viral TikTok dance videos? Do you remember when your parents would spend endless hours lecturing you about how "good kids have it now" since when they were young, they had to walk to school in 3 feet of snow, barefoot, while carrying all of their books in their hands because they couldn't afford a backpack? Perhaps, during those rants and between the eye rolls, you were thinking, 'Why do they always think my generation has it so easy?' But now the tables have turned. While you're in line at the supermarket one day, waiting for your outdated phone to open up Google, you see a five-year-old in front of you with the latest iPhone and matching Apple Watch and mumble under your breath, "Kids these days have it too easy." Wait! Who just said that?
Life has a way of coming full circle, as the things we once vowed never to do or say often become the very things we embrace with time and perspective.
The Joy of Transformation
No doubt you've been able to relate to one or more of the above scenarios. These are just examples of how some of the promises we made to ourselves in our youth have become the amusing realities of our 40s.
Rather than feeling as though you've let down your younger self, why not welcome this wonderful change? Life teaches us that growth is an integral part of our path, often in unexpected ways. Although we might have once found the idea of early bedtimes, unique collections, and the everyday behaviors of the younger generation amusing, they now form unforgettable chapters in our lives. Ultimately, each generation believes it has all the answers—until it becomes the target of the next generation's eye rolls.
What are some things you vowed never to do or say in your youth that have now become routine in your life?
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