Why Can't I Fall Asleep? The Ugly Truth About Insomnia and Aging

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It’s 3 am and you’re wide awake. There is a chilling silence, but if you concentrate and listen really carefully, you can hear the faint ticking of the clock. You shut your eyes so tight that you can actually feel the pressure of your forehead scrunching. You tell yourself, ‘just relax and go back to sleep…it’s not a big deal!’ As you carefully concentrate on the task at hand, you’re thinking, ‘I got this. I’ll fall back asleep in no time.’ Suddenly, after what seems like hours have passed, you open your eyes and gently peek at the clock only to see that it’s now 3:03 am and you’ve only shut your eyes for three minutes!

Sound somewhat familiar? Ah yes, the joys of sleepless nights! While it's sad but true, I’ve noticed that dealing with insomnia is becoming more of a reality as I’ve transitioned into my 40s. In fact, the scenario mentioned above seems to be on repeat more and more lately.

Why is it that the simple solutions of our youth like—counting sheep, reading bedtime stories, or sitting in third period social studies, were quick and surefire solutions to falling asleep, but no longer seem to work? Instead, we many times find ourselves wide awake in the middle of the night, watching an obnoxious infomercial on kitchen knives or rummaging through the fridge for that elusive midnight snack, despite feeling exhausted throughout the day.

Why Insomnia Feels Extra Real After 40

What’s so intriguing to me is that when we were young and our parents made us take a nap, we felt like it was some form of punishment. Oh, how I wish I could teleport myself back in time every day at around 2 pm and recuperate all of the naps that I sacrificed in my younger years! Because once you start adulting, and more specifically, hit your 40s, catching some shut-eye in the afternoon feels like a distant dream. What’s so ironic is that you can often feel sleepy during the day yet be wide awake come bedtime.

So, if you’re battling with this, it’s comforting to know that you’re not alone. Studies show that, due to hormonal changes, among other things, women can experience a 30% decrease in sleep quality during this phase in our lives. Aside from that, stress from daily responsibilities and the ever-growing to-do list can also keep our minds racing at night.

Suggestions on How to Combat Insomnia

Here are a few suggestions below on how to fight the insomnia enemy. At the end of the article, I’ll share which of these suggestions I’ve tried and whether they have worked for me.

1. Create a Peaceful Sleep Sanctuary 

Think of your bedroom as a peaceful haven specifically designed for rest. Crafting the ideal sleep environment can make a significant difference. You can try dimming the lights, using blackout curtains, and keeping the temperature between 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Establish a Consistent Sleep Schedule

Consistency in your sleep routine can play a critical role in combatting insomnia. Aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time daily, even on weekends. Research indicates that maintaining a regular sleep pattern can improve sleep quality by up to 50%.  That probably means you’ll want to avoid starting to binge-watch that 10-season Netflix series on Tuesday night at 11pm.

3. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol Intake

While when you were in your 20s, you could drink five cups of coffee and still sleep like a log, as we grow older, our bodies may become less tolerant of caffeine and alcohol. While a glass of wine can seem relaxing, both substances can disrupt your sleep cycle. Perhaps try limiting caffeine intake after lunch, and consider swapping that nightcap for an herbal tea or even warm milk. Studies suggest that warm milk can help improve sleep quality due to its tryptophan content, which promotes relaxation.

4. Preparing Your Mind for Restful Sleep

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could program our brains like we program Alexa? I can just picture it now, ‘Alexa, tell brain it’s time to go to sleep.’ And Alexa, in her ever so sultry yet obedient voice, ‘Brain, time to go to sleep’ and then you pass out immediately. Thankfully, AI hasn’t figured that one out yet. With that said, many times our brain needs help shifting into “sleep mode.”

• Try establishing a pre-sleep ritual before bed. For example, taking a shower and putting on your favorite comfy pajamas might help signal to your brain that it’s time to go to bed.  

• Avoid activities at night that can keep you awake, like exercising, paying bills, and eating heavy meals.  These activities tend to keep your brain in ‘awake’ mode and don’t help you wind down.  

• Try not to worry too much about your sleep loss.  Becoming overly stressed about your inability to fall asleep can actually make you suffer more from insomnia.  

How I Conquer Sleepless Nights

So which of these suggestions have I tried and which ones have worked best for me? Well, in some shape or form, I’ve tried implementing all of the suggestions. However, the clear winner for me is without a doubt, drum roll, please…, suggestion 4. Having a pre-sleep routine before bed, avoiding eating heavy meals at night, and above all, not obsessing over my occasional inability to sleep.

For me, it’s like I can choose to remain in stage one of grief, which is denial, or skip to the final stage which is acceptance. It’s kind of like the tried and true saying, ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.’ So, since I’ve come to terms that sleep loss is yet another part of the aging process, when the inevitable strikes and insomnia rears its ugly head, I don’t waste hours trying to force myself to go to sleep if my body doesn’t want to. Instead, I accept the fact that I probably won’t get the best night's sleep that night, but tomorrow is another day. I also try to make good use of the time that I spend awake and do something that I enjoy or even something productive until my brain switches gears into 'sleep mode.’ In fact, I’ve found that many times I am able to tap into a more creative side of myself in the wee hours of the morning that doesn’t necessarily surface during regular business hours.

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So, I’d love to hear from you. Have you faced insomnia and what are you doing to combat it? Please be sure to comment below, like, and share this post.

See you in the next one and sweet dreams!

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